留学生的英文论文写作太尴尬?这些习惯要改!

The reason for the failure of the basketball team of the University of North Carolina in the Final Four game against the team from Kansas was that on that day and at that time, some players were frequently unable to rebound the ball.

当你看到这样的句子,是否感到冗赘,甚至是尴尬?那如果改成下面这句呢?

UNC’s basketball team lost the Final Four game against Kansas because it could not consistently rebound the ball.更多留学写作资讯:http://www.hotessay.cn/news.php

好的英文写作难道就要用到复杂的句式、高级的词汇、大量的短语词组?不见得,写此文就是希望大家不要再被国内这类啰嗦的英文写作套路带跑偏了,学会适当减持你的语言,tighten up your sentences!国外有句话是这么说的:Never use ten words where five will do. 好的英文写作应该是简洁凝练的。但是如何精简语言?It's often easier said than done. 首先我们要分清conciseness和wordiness,然后要学会用concise alternative来改写。

那么怎么避免wordiness?怎么成就Conciseness?以下分享一下个人拙见。

「 Concise Writing 」

☛ 1. 简化句子结构,增强活力和表现力

(1)以it,here, or there be开头且指引的是句中的名词,同时句子里常常跟上to be/ to do的句子结构,比如it is, it was, here is, there is, therewill be……这些结构往往不再强调句中实际的驱动者成分,把true driver的意义稀释了,而且这种结构通常需要其他关系词来支撑和联接,如who, that and when,进一步dilute你的文章。具体来说,比如:

There are some bloggers who seem to have...

这里的thereare 把句子的重心放在了模糊的概念there上,而不是句中的true focus,即some bloggers, 而且作者还需要加上who这个语法上需要但实际没什么含义的关系词。这样就用了三个不必要的filler words(填充词),另一方面还把句中的实义动词弱化了。顺便提个醒,不要碰到“有”就想到there be句型。

再举一些例子:

✗ Wordy:It's fun to editing.

✔ Concise:Editing is fun.

✗ Wordy:There are many people who write.

✔ Concise:Many people write.

✗Wordy:Here are some things to consider:

✔Concise:Some things to consider are:

✗Wordy:There is a telling passage toward the end of the story.

书架里的画册.jpg

✔Concise:A telling passage occurs near the end of the essay.

✗Wordy: There were four candidates vying for the position.

✔Concise: Four candidates were vying for the position.

(2)适当地把后置定语从句改成前置形容词,比如:

✗Wordy:People who experienced at traveling know better than to label their luggage.

✔Concise:Experienced travelers know better thanto label their luggage.

✗Wordy:Do not try to anticipate those events that will completely revolutionize society.

✔Concise:Do not try to anticipate revolutionary events.

(3)把伴随动作状语改成副词,比如:

✗Wordy:Sympathizing with her concerns, he nodded in response to her complaint.

✔Concise:He nodded sympathetically in response to her complaint.

(4)“which is” 、 “who were”等有时可以删除但保留原义且无伤语法,比如:

✗Wordy:We drove down Lombard Street, which is considered the crookedest street in the world.

✔Concise:We drove down Lombard Street,considered the crookedest street in the world.

(5)介词短语改写,比如:

✗Wordy: Make sure you approach the conversation in a careful way.

✔Concise: Make sure you approach the conversation carefully.

✗Wordy: The opinion of the working group. 


✔Concise: The working group's opinion. 


☛ 2.可以用动词来描述的时候就尽量避开弱化语气的nominalization(名词化表达)

比如当你看到“verb+ a/an noun” 的组合结构,直接用实义动词来代替该短语,简化句子的同时增强句子活力。比如:

✗Wordy:The report gave an analysis of the accident.

✔Concise:The report analyzed the accident.

✗Wordy:Give your post a proofread.

✔Concise:Proofread your post.

✗Wordy:Alcohol is the cause of hangovers.

✔Concise:Alcohol causes hangovers.

✗Wordy:He shows signs of carelessness.

✔Concise:He is careless.

✗Wordy:She has a high level of intensity.

✔Concise:She is intense.

✗Wordy: The stability and quality of our financial performance will be developed through the profitable execution of our existing business, as well as the acquisition or development of new businesses.

✔Concise: We will improve our financial performance not only by executing our existing business more profitably but by acquiring or developing new businesses.


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